Without a doubt, "I don't have a choice" is one of the most commonly uttered phrases in therapy. And usually it is not true, even if it FEELS true. We generally have choices, we just don't like the ones we have identified so we start complaining, which increases our negative feelings. STOP, name your feeling; "I feel trapped and I hate all these stupid options." Then, check to see if you are engaged in dichotomous thinking (a cognitive distortion) because you feel all fucked up about the situation. You will know you are if you only see 2 options, shitty and shittier. Often, our thinking is just being limited by an anxiety response to feeling trapped (insert any unpleasant feeling). Try exercising a bit of control over something, like what to eat for supper. And then when you feel less trapped, revisit your situation and come up with a third or fourth option that is slightly more desirable than feeling like you have no options--save that for when you have to sneeze and you are driving! You're welcome.
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